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The Woman by the Well
Based on the Bible story in John 4 |
I wonder how deep this well is. They
say Jacob himself dug it, and that it has never dried up. He must have
been inspired - more than I am. Now I am going to pollute it with my wretched
body. Oh, how I hate myself. Will I have the courage to do it ? I don't
want to die, and yet I don't want to live either.
They say that your whole life passes
before you. Let's see how long it will take, I'll drop a stone - there.
Oh no, I will see my miserable life a dozen times before I hit the bottom.
It is so deep. Those poor girls who were here earlier had to lift water
all that way up. Poor girls ? I wish, oh I wish I were one of them, but
they don't want me to go with them anymore. Now I have to come here on
my own at midday, when the sun is so hot. They were laughing, they all
have children. What have I got ? Nothing, less than nothing, and twice
their age. I suppose I should be grateful that I eat and have a bed, or
rather a bed is certain and I also eat.
Certain ? Ha, even that is not sure.
Five "husbands" in eight years, and this one has hardly spoken to me for
a week. I've seen him talking to one of the serving girls a lot lately.
I'm too old for this game now, I've served my purpose.
What purpose ? I wish I could see some
real purpose in life. There should be. There is supposed to be a Messiah
who will come and tell us everything, even me, but I have not seen him.
No one wants me.
Except Demas. Demas ! You poor fool.
Devout Demas. Believing Demas, my first love, a mere shepherd. How could
I have married a shepherd ? I would rather beg.
No, I wouldn't. I could never beg. Oh,
what am I to do ? Father in Heaven ... they say that you always pray before
you die.
No answer. Should I expect any ? It
is funny, Demas has still not married, and he keeps saying that he wants
me, even after ... my way of life. And be a shepherd's wife ? With Demas
? and children ?
No, I cannot. I came here for the last
time, and with a job to do. Let's see, if I sit on the edge and push against
this stone, my clothes will not catch on anything and ... that will be
that - finished. Perhaps I should leave a note. If I could write I would
tell that pig what I think of him, but I can't, I spent all my school time
looking at the boys. I know. I will leave my sandals. Everyone knows my
sandals. Then people will know that it was not an accident. Maybe it will
warn someone, that serving girl perhaps. There. Well, well, my feet are
still quite pretty. What a waste, if only I had ... if only ... that is
the story of my life, but this is the last chapter. Now I just get up on
this stone and ...
Bother, someone is coming. I have left
it too late. What a failure I am ? I've even ruined my own goodbye. Oh,
it is only one of those Jerusalem Jews, I'll get no insults from him -
they never speak to us Samaritans. If they did it would only be about bringing
back stoning for adultery. At least the Romans don't care what we do.
How tired he looks. He's asking me for
a drink ! A Jewish man speaking to, and asking, a Samaritan woman ! Well, that was worth
waiting for. "If thou knewest the gift of God," he says. I wish I did know
it, and what is this "living water" he is talking about ? Those eyes. I've
seen those eyes before, a long time ago, it seems a whole lifetime ago,
yet I can still remember them. He must be about my age, but I am sure that
he has never been here before. Who is this man ? Is he just a man ? Can
he be greater than Jacob who dug the well ? As for "everlasting life,"
he has caught me just in time. Perhaps it is I that need the water, not
he.
If I had this "everlasting water" could
I make a new start ? He says to call my husband. What am I to say ? Now
I know that he has never been here before. "Sir, I have no husband." Five
? He knows me - or my reputation has spread to Jerusalem. He must be a
prophet, perhaps even the Messiah they call the Christ, for only He can
tell us all things.
Why do I feel so happy ? What a glorious
day it is. He says He IS the Christ. The Christ has spoken to me !
"Demas ! Demas ! The Christ has come
!"
[© Martin, 1983 Jan 2, words = 837, revision 090324]
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